TEENS - Life Under Construction
To understand our Teenagers means, we can support and guide them with Love and everything they need to reach adulthood with confidence, direction, self-belief, self-worth. Emotional intelligence and so much more.
But first we must understand what they are going through.
Understanding our Teens
Our teenagers are dealing with so many changes- body, hormones, peers, social environment, schooling, employment and that’s not all, teenagers are individuals with their own unique personalities, they have their own likes and dislikes however most teenage traits remain the same.
Teenagers may come across independent, troubled, or even emotionally withdrawn from you. However, our teenagers still need the attention, love and acceptance from their parents.
I believe these are the years they need us the most.
What's Happening to our Teens?
I often hear parents ask this question in a hope to better understand and in some causes try to figure out where they went wrong. The truth is they are changing, preparing and becoming young adults and this is a wonderful and exciting thing.
I think the part that confuses us as parents is we feel like we are somewhat loosing control as our teens appear to push us away, disconnect and behaviour differently.
A couple of truths:
- Hormones, anxiety and depression are on the rise.
- The truth is our teenagers are experiencing so much
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The adolescence years comes with significant growth and development in the teenage brain. The remodelling of the brian happens intensively during the adolescence years continuing into their mid-20’s.
A couple of these changes are:
- Use it or lose it – The brain develops in a way that produces lots of connections that are then removed if not used. Known as “’pruning ‘’away.
- New Connections -New connections are formed or other connections are strengthened as a way for the brain to become more efficient.
What our teens experience, learn, practice, repeat etc. through these years is what can become hard wired in their brain going into adulthood.
This is the time we as parents want to encourage and supports our teenagers to understand what’s happening to them and let them know they’re not alone.
Studies show the adolescence brian develops and remodels from the back to front which means the prefrontal cortex is the last part of the adolescent brian to be completely developed.
The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain where decision making takes place. This is where we solve problems, control impulse, plan and think about our actions and the consequences of them.
While the prefrontal cortex is still developing often teenagers rely on the part of their brian called the amygdala to make decisions, solve problems etc. unlike most adults whom when making decisions they do so from their prefrontal cortex.
The amygdala is the part of the brian associated with emotions, impulses, aggression, instinctive behaviour etc.
This is often why as parents we can witness such an inconsistent contrast in moods, reactions and overall behaviour.
Understanding the Teenage Brain
Let’s put ourselves in their shoes
We all know what it’s like to experience life as a teen but we are no longer looking at those years the way our teenagers do today.
While the development of the human brain/body is somewhat unchanged, so much has changed from when we were teenagers until now.
Social media, online gaming, internet, food, electromagnetic field exposure from (WIFI, mobile phones, Bluetooth etc.) and even longer hours of retail trade all can play a huge part in our teenager’s development.
I admit that teenage hormones and the strong emotions they create can be stressful for the adults in their lives.
However, can you imagine how they must feel, experiencing their lives 24/7 with so many mixed emotions and how it must feel to try and process these all at once?
I feel emotionally exhausted just thinking about it.
It’s not just the brain development but also, hormones, rapid growth spurts, periods, acne and hair growth and so on, can all add to a strong feeling of being out of control, which can trigger a cycle of anxiety, depression, risk- taking behaviour and more.
Other stress factors that our teens can experience can be from change of schools, peer pressure, major life events like the death of a loved one or moving house along with alcohol and drug use.
With added pressures and the need to impress their peers, compete and feel like they fit in is extremely important to most teens and their developing brain can become more vulnerable to stress factors compared to the adult brain.
Parents play a very important role in their child’s development both psychically and mentally along with teachers, coaches, peers, friends, families & community.
In return what they are experiencing and learning shapes their beliefs, behaviours, actions and reactions through life.
How can I help?
I offer both one on one and group programs to children and parents that feel like these years have taken its toll on them. Or those that want to do things better.
I strongly believe these years are so important to the rest of our children’s lives, they need our love, support, guidance and awareness and with this brings empowered, resilient, confident, loving and happy Adults, that can take full control of every area of their lives.
Designed for pre-teens 9-12yrs, Teens 13-19yrs Young adult 20-25 yrs.
This program is designed to bring awareness and a clear vision to our pre-teens, teens and young adults in many areas that they are often very unaware of, leading them to feel lost, angry, frustrated and all in all feeling OUT OF CONTROL.
During this course, they will gain a clear understanding of themselves and the world around them.
Learning how to set and align themselves with their goals and achieve them with ease.
They learn how to embrace their big emotions and express them calmly and controlled.
How to communicate with those around them and confidently and assertively.
Any many other Life skills.
The Supportive Parent Program
Techniques and tools to empower and support your children.
Gaining Emotional support is about helping to lift someone to higher ground so he or she can see their way through the difficulty.
In this program I address all the areas of the Life under construction Program which allows parents to gain a better understanding of what their children maybe experiencing.
I also give parents simply, yet effective techniques to empower them to become a confident, supportive and understanding parent through any of the challenges they may face.
The A Team
This is a family program where I work with both parents and children together.
Again, I address the Life under construction Program, many team building techniques, and the roles of all members in the family to gain a better understanding of just how important each and every member of the family is.
Learning to be a team player in our everyday life raises the bar in any family and empowers everyone to step up and be their very best, which sure makes for a happier home.